Allaah Is The Best Of Planners
Every now and then, just like every other human being on this planet earth, I think, I plan, I weave dreams, I day dream- in short I have an epiphany that I have my life all planned and sorted. But.. Allah is the best of planners.
As Muslims, we all have faith in Allah’s plans and we all believe that without a doubt, Allah knows what is best for us. Many a times in life, Allah subhaanahu wa ta’ala showed me how He knows what is best.
When I was about to start University, I wanted to have a career in Mass communication (media sciences), but for many reasons, I could not go through with it. I landed myself in a bachelors of honors degree in Bioinformatics. Initially, I was not happy and to this day, I sometimes get agitated because I didn’t get to make a career out of it as I had always planned for myself. However, I managed to always scored a perfect GPA, I made loyal friends along the way, and made my parents super proud. Not only that, but the knowledge that I gained in two different fields of studies has made many things possible for me. If I want I can teach Computer sciences, Biology, Biochemistry, and even Maths. With a little more study, I can become a nutritionist. I can become a lab assistant. I can prepare courses, Alhamdulilah the list goes on- Allah is the best of planners.
My dream man was always a laid back guy, who would let me have a career, be super expressive and romantic, street smart and well settled. Yes it sounds sad- yes, I did have a materialistic approach and a good material life was my priority- to be honest, I did not give much thought to him being a practising Muslim too. However, I got married to a man who was the total opposite of what I thought I wanted! He is alhamdulillah, a practising man, and a man who makes me better in my practise of the deen, too. He has none of the approaches I thought I wanted in a husband, and after almost 6 years we are still trying to figure each other out – sometimes we even break into bad fights but I have learnt so much about myself from this relationship, which I never could have learnt any other way. I realised that people who are not close to their deen, do not try to keep things together for the sake of Allah. Being with a man who cares about worldly things less, has made me care about the world less, and has made me realise how I need to keep the relationship tight and wrapped with love for the sake of Allah – Alhamdulillaah, Allah is the best of planners.
I always dreamed of an easy marriage. Loving, easy going in laws, loving and easy going husband, zero money stress, a house,a career, and the list goes on…Walking inside this marriage, though, I faced numerous problems with my in laws, hubby and I have had the biggest ups and downs anyone’s marriage could ever face. I never got to make a career out of my education, I live in a studio flat with two children, we live pay check to pay check, but this marriage has taught me how the world works, how people work, how life really is and the reality of this dunya. It has made me so much wiser, taught me things and made me less vulnerable to hurt from people and resulted in me being closer to Allah than to people- I now know that you have to rely on Allah only for support. Everyone else’s priority is themselves or their own families, naturally, and no one is going to love you the way Allaah loves you.. You don’t need to explain yourself to everyone and you cannot change people. I learned to make peace with all of this – Allah is the best of planners.
Being the only daughter, I was a little rebellious and even stubborn at times too. Most of the time, I would get away with my tantrums and not have to apologise to my siblings. Then I got married to a man who was even more stubborn than myself. My stubbornness then mellowed down in the efforts to save the marriage, my stubbornness had to melt away and give way to being patient with his anger and attitude, my stubbornness flew out the window for the sake of my children. I became patient, I become tender, I became kinder, and I let go of the attitude that wasn’t serving me, and became a better person when it comes to anger – Allah is the best of planners.
When I got pregnant the second time around, some of my close friends told me I should not have gotten pregnant, that this baby will not bring me what I am looking for in my life. My second pregnancy became a very stressful time for me. The 9 months were very strained between me and my husband. But the second child, my baby boy, has bought me and my husband close like never before, Alhamdulilah. He keeps me on my feet and he has helped drain me of all my anxieties. His cheery attitude has bought immense happiness to my husband and has changed our characters – Allah is the best of planners.
I, being an only sister to two brothers, wanted another daughter when I got pregnant the second time around. I thought another daughter would bring us so much joy, and bring more changes to my husband’s behaviour by making him more expressive and loving, and thought that having a sister is important for my daughter. However, I had a son. Somehow, my husband did change, and no, it was not because of the Asian mentality of happiness over having a male child, it was because both of us felt the sense of completion in our hearts and souls. With a daughter and a son, it feels as if I have every single joy this world can offer – Allah is the best of planners.
I was due to apply for my indefinite leave to remain visa. By the time my time period was completed, the fees were so high, the rules were so tight and all the requirements were simply making us crazy! Then, immediately after sending in my application, my husband lost his job. He had worked as a door manager. We were never satisfied with that job to start with, because of all the racist and insensitive people that he had to face on a daily basis, but he kept that tough job for a whole year because it was making us enough money that we could save up for the visa application process. Then, as soon as we sent in the application, he lost the job. It felt like the whole 5 year plan we had was crumbling. But in hindsight, alhamdulillaah, he is safe from those dangerous people, he can focus on starting his own work, where he can have the career progression he really wants to enjoy, and since necessity is the mother of invention, who knows where that might lead? Allah is the best of planners.
I know there will be more incidents in life, where things will not be the way that I want them to be; that I will not always get my way, but I have full faith in my Creator that He is the best of planners and He will bless me with what is best for me.
About the author:
I am Madeeha Najeeb- a London based mum of two under 5 year olds. I hold a Bachelor of Honors degree in Bioinformatics from Pakistan. I am a housewife and I recently started online content writing.