Iman was born and raised in London. She is a former teacher who taught English as a Foreign Language in Saudi Arabia for almost a decade. Iman loves walking in Central London with her sisters, visiting galleries and museums, reading, writing, travelling and learning about other cultures.
In our dear faith of Islam, we come to know of the mercy that The Almighty Allah (SWT) has over His creation. Indeed, one of His names is Ar-Raheem, The Merciful! There are numerous verses in the Qur’an that attest to the divine mercy of Allah (SWT).
“O My servants who have transgressed against themselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (Qur’an 39:53)
It truly is wonderful that The Lord has reassured His flawed creation that no matter how much we have sinned, He forgives our shortcomings. He truly is the Most Merciful!
“The Compassionate One has mercy on those who are merciful. If you show mercy to those who are on the earth, He Who is in heaven will show mercy to you.” (Abu Dawood)
As creation, we are often merciful to others, but sometimes we forget to be compassionate to ourselves. We may indulge in harsh self-criticism and negative self-talk. We would never criticise others the way we talk to ourselves. Imagine if we spoke to others that way. Others would not accept such negativity, so why do we accept it for ourselves?
As Bani Adam (children of Adam), we are flawed, and that is the way The Almighty created us – to err and to repent. Even if you feel you have fallen short in your obligations to Allah (SWT) due to you being lethargic or depressed, turn back to Him, He is always ready to receive you! He has promised that for as long as we live, He will always forgive us. Know that the Most Merciful loves you and wants good for you, and He is more merciful than a mother is to her child.
How can we be more self-compassionate?
Accept that imperfection makes us who we are, human
We must acknowledge that we fall and rise in life. That is the nature of this dunya (worldly life). Knowing this may make it easier to be kinder to ourselves.
Cultivating more self-love
It doesn’t mean that you don’t try to always improve, but loving yourself the way you are: a flawed human being that always turns back to Allah (SWT) in repentance. Think of the way you are loved by your family and friends, grant yourself this kind of love.
Transform the negative self-talk to a tone that is more loving and forgiving
Try complimenting yourself on your achievements whilst, foremost, giving thanks to Allah (SWT). Also, strive to do good to counteract the discouraging inner voice.
Practise self-forgiveness
When we have lapsed in life, no matter what one may have done, know that Allah (SWT) is always ready to forgive you as long as you repent. Never fall into despair, after repenting to The Lord, you must believe His promise: He will always forgive us as long as we sincerely repent.
Be kind to ourselves
Oftentimes we are kind to others but forget to be kind to ourselves. Utilise that rahma (mercy) that Allah (SWT) has instilled in humanity to practise on ourselves. Be kind to yourself the way that you are kind to others. Give yourself permission to be kind to that inner critic.
Take up useful hobbies and interests
This is a nice way to develop self-compassion, such as reading, writing, volunteering, and socialising with friends and family.
Islamic and personal development classes are an ideal way to nourish the soul and increase in knowledge to become better and learn to be less harsh on ourselves. How about learning about the names of Allah (SWT), the seerah (biography) of Prophet Muhammad (may the blessings of Allah be upon him), stories of the Prophets or the companions? Reading about such amazing figures is a great means of motivation, as we can learn many lessons since they went through difficult trials and overcame them in the end by the permission of Allah (SWT).
Increase in worship
Increasing sincere worship not only increases reward from The Almighty, but it does wonders for the soul. It really helps with confidence building. In addition to praying the five daily prayers and reading Qur’an, try praying the nafl (supererogatory) prayers, giving in charity, and being in service of others. Did you know that charity isn’t just monetary? As the Prophet (may the blessings of Allah be upon him) said, even a smile is charity.
Make du’a
Raise your hands up in du’a (supplication) and ask The Lord for anything that you need. Pour out your heart to Him, ask Him to ease the unhelpful inner voice and turn it to a more befitting one. He will surely deliver relief.
No matter how depressed or unmotivated you may feel, be certain that Allah (SWT) knows what you are going through and will relieve you from hardship.
The life of this world is that of tests and trials. We go through times of ease and times of hardship, but the promise of Allah (SWT) is true. He is always with us and will never forsake His sincere believers!
