Solace in Marriage Service
“Marriage is half your Deen” is something revert sisters often hear immediately after embracing Islam, but without knowledge and the right support, many enter marriage without a clear understanding of what this means. All marriages require work and commitment, but for our revert sisters the challenge can be even greater, leaving them vulnerable to unhappy, unfulfilling, and even abusive marriages.
In over 10 years, Solace has encountered a wide range of marital-related concerns in our work with revert sisters, and these issues usually stem from the following problems:
- Upon taking their shahaadah, many revert sisters are immediately encouraged, pressured or rushed to marry.
- A large number of revert sisters do not have a Muslim father or Muslim family to act on their behalf throughout the Islamic marriage process.
- Many revert sisters do not have the knowledge and right support upon coming into Islam to enter into a healthy marriage.
This has led to:
- Sisters falling prey to negative behaviour of some Muslim men.
- The appointment of a male guardian (wali) who has no time to vet the brother as would normally be conducted by a Muslim father.
- Confusion regarding the Islamic process of marriage.
- A high divorce rate amongst revert sisters.
- Unhappy and abusive marriages, and broken families and homes.
- Revert sisters feeling lonely on their search for a husband, from lack of knowledge and support.
- Having doubts about the religion and leaving Islam all together.
The ‘Solace in Marriage’ solution is a five-stage service based on the Quran and Sunnah to provide a holistic service that meets the needs of all revert sisters looking to enter into marriage.
It is designed to support revert sisters to find suitable partners and sustain healthy marriages, thereby further developing their eman and relationship with Allah. Through our holistic support system, we provide revert sisters and brothers wishing to marry them with the knowledge, tools and understanding required for a successful marriage.
This service is:
✓ A five-stage, holistic, and comprehensive service
✓ Based on the Holy Quran and the Sunnah
✓ Based on current psychological and well-being research
Who is this for?
You qualify for this service if you reside in the United Kingdom and fall under one the following categories:
- You are a Muslim woman who identifies as a ‘revert’*, and are single, divorced, or widowed.
- You are a Muslim man who is interested in marrying a revert sister, born into Islamic faith or ‘revert’, and you have no wife**.
* ‘Revert’ refers to a convert to Islam from another religion.
** According to our Terms & Conditions for this service, at present, the marriage service system has been built for monogamous marriage.
The Five Stages
The service consists of five stages to educate, ensure compatibility, vet matches, ensure inclusion, and to provide in-marriage support.
Stage 1: Pre-Marriage Course
A 5-day module-based course delivered by an experienced facilitator designed to equip revert sisters and brothers with an in-depth understanding of:
✓ What marriage means in Islam
✓ Their rights and responsibilities
✓ The skills to reflect and recognise whether they are ready for marriage
✓ What it takes to sustain a healthy marriage
Timeline: The Pre-Marriage Course will start in February and will be conducted in one weekend day for five (5) consecutive weeks.
Applications: Closed on 25th January 2023
Stage 2: Matching
Those that have successfully completed Stage One, can choose to enter the matching process.
Participants will complete a comprehensive form stating what they are looking for in a marriage and spouse. This information is then entered into our custom-built database and individuals are matched based on their criteria. These matches are then verified by our in-house team, prior to inviting those that have been successfully matched to Stage Three.
Stage 3: Wali Panel
This stage is designed to protect the interests of revert sisters, ensuring that they are safeguarded throughout the marriage process.
The Wali Panel consists of 5 professionals (three sisters, two brothers), with in-depth understanding and experience of Quran & Sunnah, marriage, and psychological and wellbeing tools.
The purpose of the Panel is to act in lieu of the revert sisters’ father or family, as majority of revert sisters do not have a Wali.
As such, the Wali Panel will conduct initial meetings with sisters and brothers to ensure that they are ready for marriage, undertake references and background checks, and facilitate and oversee meetings between matches (up to 8 meetings).
Stage 4: Nikkah/Walima
Following a successful match, couples can either opt out of the service, or receive support from Solace to plan their Nikkah and Walima.*
The Solace Team, including the Wali Panel, will work with participants to prepare for and host a Nikkah and Walima. Vitally, this includes holding information sessions with the sister’s (and brother’s as applicable) non-Muslim friends and family to ensure that they understand what Islamic marriage entails and feel involved in the process.
* Couples that require financial assistance can apply for it at this stage
Stage 5: In-Marriage Support
This stage is designed to equip the married couple with tools and techniques that enable them to implement the knowledge and skills acquired from the pre-marriage course. This will include the following:
✓ Tools for effective communication
✓ Tools for maintaining romance and intimacy
✓ Techniques to de-escalate conflict
✓ Techniques for repair and recovery in order to build a healthy and resilient marriage
✓ Access to marriage counselling, as needed.
We are currently not taking applications. If you’d like to get notified when applications open, submit the form below.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I attend just the pre-marriage course?
Yes, you have the option to just attend the pre-marriage course and opt out of the service at the end.
Can I join without taking the course?
No, all participants are required to complete the Solace Pre-Marriage Course.
What if I already have a person in mind?
You can opt to join the service with them. After completing Stage 1, you will skip Stage 2 (Matching) and proceed to Stage 3 (Wali Panel) with them.
How do you assess compatibility?
Compatibility is assessed via the matching questionnaire, indivividual applicants are matched via database according to their responses preferences, likes, dislikes, expectations, etc. These are then verified in-house.
Will you offer this service for polygamous marriages?
To be notified when the service is expanded to accommodate polygamy, click here.
I'm not qualified, can I still join the course?
Let us know you’re interested by completing this form.
How can I get notified about the next round?
If you can’t join this round, you can get notified about the next round by completing this form.
I want to apply to the service but I don't live in the UK
The Marriage Service is for UK citizens and residents in the UK. Unfortunately, this service is not yet expanded to other locations.
Are the modules for the pre-marriage course delivered remotely or in person?
The pre-marriage course is entirely online.
Is the service just for reverts?
The service is for revert sisters, but brothers applying can be reverts or born Muslims.
To what extent do you vet the person?
We obtain two references for each person, these are then followed up and verified by the Wali Panel. The Wali Panel will also undertake visits and additional meetings with the family/friends of those who successfully move on to the Wali Panel stage.
If someone proposes to me, can I give them your number as a wali after signing up?
If someone has an existing potential match/proposal, they can apply for the service but both parties must complete stage 1 (pre-marriage course) to be able to access support at stage 3 (Wali panel) or stage 4 (Nikkah/Walima).
Is there an age limit?
No age limit
Can you join as a revert if you have a wali?
Yes, you can join, the Wali Panel stage and support would still apply.
Can non-reverts apply?
This is something we are hoping to do in the future. Any non-revert sisters interested can add their names to the waiting list.
For inquiries and other marriage service-related concerns, please contact [email protected]